25 Reasons Star Trek Is Better Than Twilight

[darkangel_0410]

Found this on ffnet; it's by  scrambled-eggs-at-midnight and it's too fucken hysterical not to share. Not really '09 specific, but still funny as fuck:

1. Edward Cullen makes sparkles look manly. James Kirk makes capri pants and go-go boots look manly.

2. Scotty inspired people to become engineers and make life better for everybody. Bella Swan inspired people to drop their whole lives for their boyfriends.

3. Kirk and Spock manage to have conversations that don't revolve around their deep and abiding affection for one another.

4. Leonard McCoy doesn't have to resort to biting his patients in order to save their lives.

5. You think Uhura would put up with her boyfriend trying to keep her away from the action?

6. Wesley was eventually put on a shuttlecraft. Last time we checked, Renesmee's still hangin' out with the grown-ups.

7. A partial list: Mary-Sue. Dropped A Bridge On Him. Redshirt. The Worf Effect. You Will Be Assimilated. Slash. Beam Me Up, Scotty. Captain's Log. Now try to think of some tropes named by Twilight.

8. Rosalie and Jacob snarking at each other? Dull. Bones and Spock snarking at each other? Epic.

9. Nobody in Twilight ever rocks a minidress.

10. Or a kilt.

11. It is so, so much more fun to cosplay as a TNG Klingon than to just wear regular clothes and too much glitter lotion.

12. Nurse Chapel would get fired so fast if she ever went into a waking coma on account of pining for some guy.

13. Which has more pure entertainment value— Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart brooding at each other, or William Shatner hamming it up?

14. Okay, fine, the soundtrack for the Twilight movie is pretty awesome. Still not as awesome as "Banned from Argo" or "The U.S.S. Make Shit Up".

15. Starship Volvo.

16. There is no evidence to suggest that Edward Cullen can raise his eyebrows independently.

17. There is a conspicuous lack of pointy ears in Twilight.

18. Twilight also seems to have a deficiency of green blood, green hair, and green skin, all of which are inherently cool. Edward doesn't even get to keep his green eyes.

19. Pavel Chekov was intended to appeal to teenage girls. He still manages to serve a plot-related function. Nobody in Twilight was intended to appeal to anyone but teenage girls. We can't comment on the plot due to being unable to find it.

20. As of the 2009 movie, Sulu's totally a ninja. You just can't get cooler than ninja.

21. No matter how cool some of the actors who appear in the Twilight films may be, they aren't Patrick Stewart.

22. Star Trek's pseudoscience at least sounds halfway credible.

23. Twilight contains no made-up languages that it's actually possible to learn how to speak.

24. Spock is a real vegetarian.

25. Tribbles

Comments

[candy-belle.livejournal.com]

oh these are perfect and oh so true

[darkangel-0410.livejournal.com]

I know right? I was snickering the whole time, lol.

[candy-belle.livejournal.com]

every single word is sooo damn true. twilight is just...why?!!! why did it happen?!

[darkangel-0410.livejournal.com]

*pats back* I don't know -I ask myself that question every time a new movie comes out.

[candy-belle.livejournal.com]

*shudder* its such a horrid thing and its everywhere :(

[darkangel-0410.livejournal.com]

i know it is. I know.

[rfg-72.livejournal.com]

This is just perfect. I am laughing so hard, and remembering all sorts of other moments from all the different ST story lines. Yes, Tribbles FTW! And does anyone else remember the OLD episode where George Takei was acting gay or high or something, and running around with the sword? It'a been a long time since I saw it, but I loved all the ST worlds. And at least Gene Roddenberry based his science fiction on science. Look at how many of his ideas have become real. Now if they could just the the replicator for my cup of tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

[darkangel-0410.livejournal.com]

YES! That was the same episode where Spock got high on spores and Kirk found him crying in the rec room and Spock got even more emotional and confessed his undying "friendship" for Kirk. Roddenberry was a fucken genius -that show made so many advances for the era it aired in, it's unreal how much it influenced TV and still does in a lot of ways. I'm waiting for those replicators myself. Also, I need to be able to beam from one place to another. Someone needs to get on this shit.