darkangel_0410 | you can be the vodka and i can be the chaser... (Reply)

Because I am both terribly susceptible to certain things and an enabler, I bring you another edition of:

So You Want To Hockey (Like a Stanley Cup Winner)

Ok, so this is going to be a very basic primer of my favorite teams/players. It's going to run long as it is, so I'm gong to break it apart by teams.

First up:

Chicago Blackhawks

(I only listed players in our actual roster, because if I included our AHL guys, this would be even fucken longer.)

Name: Jonathan Toews
Position/Number: Center, Captain/19
Nickname: Jonny, Tazer, Captain Serious, Toes, Tow-es

This just feeds my thirst for model!Jonny AU, you have no idea.

God, he's sexy.

That Dead-Eyed Shark Stare.

Name: Patrick Kane
Position/Number: Right Wing/88
Nicknames: Pat, Kaner, Peeks, Lil Peekaboo, Peeksy, Pipsqueak (last two are Jonny's nicknames for Pat)

I love how when you catch the right angle, it looks like they shouldn't even be able to move like that

Bb!Kaner

I am often bewildered and appalled by how much I want to tie Patrick Kane up and do dirty, filthy things to him

Name: Brent Seabrook
Position/Number: Defense/7
Nicknames: Seabs, Seabsie Boy, Seabiscuit, Biscuit

Look at that shit-eating grin. Is it any wonder that I love him the most?

Ugh, I want to climb him like a tree

Even half dead, he's still sexy as fuck

Name: Duncan Keith
Position/Number: Defense, Alternate Captain/2
Nicknames: Duncs, Jigsaw

God, look at him, fuuuuccckkkkk

There's alot of DILFs in Chicago, but Duncs is towards the top of the pile.

THOSE SHOULDERS ARE A NATIONAL TREASURE, JESUS FUCK

Name: Patrick Sharp
Position/Number: Left Wing, Alternate Captain/10
Nicknames: Sharpy, Sharpshooter

I....just....

He....

FUCK YOU AND YOUR EVERYTHING, SHARPY. FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS.

So, that's the Core of the Blackhawks; they were there for both Cup wins. Trust me, it's a big deal amongst fans.

Name: Marian Hossa
Position/Number: Left Wing/81
Nickname: Hoss

Not bad looking for the oldest guy on the team, eh?

Name: Andrew Shaw
Position/Number: Center/65
Nicknames: Shawzy, Shawzer, Mutt

Puck to the face looks good on you, Mutt. #ChicksDigScars

Name: Brandon Saad
Position/Number: Left Wing/20
Nicknames: Saader, Manchild

Oh, Manchild. You are adorable at times.

And then other times...

Surprisingly sexy. Well, I suppose I've gotten used to the idea that I'm occasionally attracted to scruffy guys with mullets.

Name: Corey Crawford
Position/Number: Goalie/50
Nicknames: Crow, Crawdaddy

My favorite goalie

He looks young here to me

So sexy

Name: Bryan Bickell
Position/Number: Left Wing/29
Nicknames: Bicks

Nice crazy eyes, Bicks -still not as scary as Tazer's, tho.

Name: Nick Leddy
Position/Number: Defense/8
Nicknames: Leds, Ledpipe

Name: Niklas Hjalmarsson
Position/Number: Defense/4
Nicknames: Hammer, Jammer

Name: Kris Versteeg
Position/Number: Left Wing/23
Nicknames: Verbeauty

My favorite Blackhawks video:

17 Seconds A.K.A Game Six of the 2013 Stanley Cup Finals, Chicago Blackhawks vs Boston Bruins

Now, onto the 'ships. First up:

Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane

Annnddddd because I love you, have a couple fics:

Keep You On My Arm by rsadelle Summary: In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.

Racy by Lenore Summary: Patrick flipped on the water, kicked off his underwear and—jolted to a stop, staring at himself in the mirror. He had racing stripes. Down below. For a moment, he honestly couldn't think how they'd gotten there. Had the awesomeness fairy visited him?

In which Patrick drunk dares Jonny, and Jonny rises to the challenge, and Patrick finds it a little hot. Okay, a lot hot.

And of course we can't forget:

Duncan Keith/Brent Seabrook

ME, TOO, SEABS. ME TOO.

And have some fic:

My Kitchen Rules by barefootstarz Summary: Duncan Keith runs the kitchen at Sweeney's with an iron fist. Or, his kitchen staff like to let him think he does. Brent Seabrook, defenseman for the Blackhawks, is a menace in the kitchen and gets roped into a masterclass with some of the other 'Hawks for Blackhawks TV.

Sleepless Nights (at the end of the world) by pikasafire Summary: This wasn't supposed to happen. In the lists of things Brent wasn't expecting, this is at least third on the list, after 'being able to talk to animals' and 'growing wings' (but before 'zombie apocalypse').

I'm going to do the Pens tomorrow, I think.